What Matters
by NettieC
Summary: There are times in life when we have to stop and figure out what really matters. For Harm, that time is now and he must make sure he doesn't screw it up this time.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All the usual legalese. All mistakes are mine

There are 4 chapters in this story.

For Jan and Peggy and their beautiful friendship.

What Matters.

Of all the things she hated, Sarah MacKenzie hated being sick the most. She hated the germs which had dared invaded and overtaken her body, she hated that she'd been home since Monday afternoon and still felt like utter crap on Friday morning. She hated that Harm had been over every evening to take care of her on her sick bed…well, she didn't really hate the caring part, just the part about it being on her 'sick' bed...she'd much prefer it was a 'well' bed...a very well bed.

Over the previous weekend, she had felt the flu coming on; the weak joints, fevered brow, lethargy, but she had closing arguments that week and a pile of work to do. So instead of tea and lemon and analgesics, she drank coffee, ate nothing and worked all night – not conducive to a recovery.

Feeling worse than ever on the Monday morning, Mac had dragged herself into JAG Headquarters, put her indomitable Marine foot forward and stood up in court to begin her argument. An argument which started 'Private Timothy Watson' and ended right there; when the floor seemed to leap up and smack her in the face.

As mortifying as the whole scene was, it was worse that the opposing counsel was Harm and he had been the one to wipe the sweat and saliva from her face and assist her in drinking the water offered when she finally came too. With court adjourned and a headache to beat all others, Mac was taken to Bethesda by Harm and checked out by the resident. It was a pretty easy diagnosis; the flu, exhaustion, dehydration and malnutrition.

"What?" Harm countered as the young doctor made notes in Mac's file. "Mac eats more than anyone I know, how can she be malnourished?"  
"Sir," the doctor began before tilting his head and indicating the corridor outside.

Checking Mac was asleep, Harm headed outside and stood with his arms defiantly folded across his chest. No young upstart was going to tell him Sarah MacKenzie was malnourished.  
"I am only telling you this as the Colonel's next of kin," the doctor began, glancing through the glass at Mac. "Looking at her file, I would say that Colonel MacKenzie is about 20lbs lighter than at her physical last month…"

Harm looked through the window and had to nod, sure he'd noticed she'd lost weight but surely it couldn't have been that much. But then, as he studied her face, he realized that it had been a while since he had paid her close attention.  
"Now, some of that is attributable to the flu – she said she hadn't been well for five days…" he said.  
"Five days," Harm echoed. He'd been in court against her for seven days but had been so preoccupied with the case and the lawyer that he hadn't seen his friend unwell.  
"And she hasn't been eating in that time," the doctor continued, "Right now, we'll run the IV and you should be able to take her home tonight, however, I would like to make a follow up appointment just to make sure she is looking after herself.

Harm nodded and had dutifully listened to all the instructions as to what Mac needed and what he was to do to ensure a full recovery. He had driven her home and stood by her bedroom door as she changed before tucking her into bed and going to the drug and grocery stores. An hour and a half later he had returned and made a daily list of what she needed to take, when and how, he had called Harriet to see if she could make Mac some basic meals, knowing she would prefer Harriet's cooking to his and then he sat on her sofa and waited until she woke up so he could feed and medicate her.

Every night since, he had come straight from work, let himself in, changed and take chargen of things. Usually, Harriet had been over for a few hours during the day so there wasn't much in the way for him to do. Wednesday while she was sleeping he had alphabetized her DVDs, it wasn't an essential task but it kept him busy.

When Mac awoke Friday, midmorning, she still felt bad. Her body ached and her head pounded. She reached to the nightstand and took the bottles of aspirin and water Harm had left for her. Downing two of the capsules and a mouthful of water, Mac rested back against the pillows and cursed the Health Department for being right about a virulent strand of the flu which was plaguing DC at the moment.

Harriet had brought lunch over for her; mac and cheese and had warmed it in the microwave while Mac was in the bathroom. When Mac appeared at the kitchen table, she looked every bit as bad as she felt.  
"You're not doing so well, are you, Mac?" Harriet ventured, when Mac picked up the fork and placed it back down without eating.  
"I've been better," she replied, though she couldn't really remember when.  
"You needed to eat," Harriet reminded her gently before placing her medication and a glass of water on the table.

Slowly but surely, Mac made her way though half a bowl of Harriet's famous recipe before declaring herself finished. Obediently, she took her meds and drank her water and was more than ready for a nap.  
"How about you take a shower?" Harriet suggested as Mac went to stand. "It might freshen you up."  
"I must look like a terrible sight," she replied as she shuffled towards the door.  
"I've seen worse," Harriet said with a forced laugh, truth was she'd never seen Mac look so bad.  
"You go I'll be fine," Mac said as she reached the door.  
"If it's all the same, I'd rather wait 'til you're done and tucked up in bed again," she replied, before clearing the table.

Though the hot water almost made her pass out twice and the fluffy towel felt like sandpaper against her skin, Mac showered and dressed in a clean nightgown before heading back to her bedroom to find Harriet had stripped and remade the bed.  
"Thank you," she offered tearfully, more than grateful to have such a good friend at his time.

It was dark when Mac awoke again and made the inordinately long shuffle to the bathroom. To her dismay she discovered her period had started and worse still, she had no provisions. Looking at the clock she knew Harm would be leaving headquarters soon but she really didn't want to ask him. She knew Harriet would drop everything for her but she'd already done so much and she didn't want to ask.  
Finally, Mac decided to forge ahead, rather than speak to Harm directly she sent him a text which asked him to please pick up some sanitary provision for her, if he was heading her way.

This sent Harm on his dreaded mission into the drug store. The one and only time he had purchased sanitary products was when he was with Renee and she had been very explicit about what he needed to get. Mac, however, hadn't been so direct and as he stood looking at four shelves of products he realized he had absolutely no idea what to get. Well, that wasn't exactly true. He knew he should get her pads and tampons so she had the option but as he studied the shelves he didn't know which one of the gazillion varieties he should pick up.  
"For your girlfriend, sir?" asked a sales associate who was probably his mother's age.  
"Ah, yes," he stumbled. While Mac wasn't his girlfriend it was a simpler explanation than who she actually was to him.  
"And your first time?" she continued with a wry smile.  
"Aha," Harm confirmed. "Didn't realize there were so many types."  
"There are certainly many different ones to choose from," she replied. "Now, these are the most popular," she said, picking up twin pack of tampons, "And so are these," she added handing him a packet of pads.  
"Okay, great, thanks," he said with a nod.  
"Unless your girlfriend prefers the invisible ones, does she?" the woman questioned.  
Harm had no response – what the hell were invisible ones?  
"What about wings? With or without?" the woman probed.  
"Um…with…" he said, he was a pilot after all.

The woman laughed at the tall, handsome man in naval uniform in front of her who looked like he had fought many battles and yet he was flustered by such simple choices.  
"Perhaps you should have gotten her to write it down for you," she said sympathetically, patting his arm.  
"I should have," he concurred. "But she is quite unwell at the moment, been in bed all week."  
"Then maybe you should also get these," she said handing him a packet called 'all-nighters'.  
Harm just nodded, after all, if the woman said he should get them, who was he to argue.

With the products in a shopping basket, Harm threw in a dozen more items. Some he knew Mac would like, such as the candy bars, some, like the boxes of tissues were just decoys to take the focus of the main purchase.

When he finally made it to her apartment, he found her dozing on the sofa. Quietly easing the door closed behind him, he tiptoed across to her and placed the bags on the coffee table. Leaning down he kissed her forehead, just like he'd done every other time he'd come in this week, and readjusted her blanket.  
"Harm," Mac murmured as she stirred.  
"Hey, Marine," he said returning to her side and caressing her face. "How are you feeling?"  
Mac frowned as tears filled her eyes, Harm had his answer.  
"Anything I can do?" he asked as his fingers raked through her messy locks.  
"Did you get my text?" she asked and Harm nodded to the bags on the table. "Thank you."  
"Anytime," he said brightly, praying she'd never ask him again.

After a trip to the bathroom, washing her face and running a brush through her hair, Mac wandered out to find Harm in the kitchen making her some hot honey and lemon tea.

Knowing Mac wasn't up for much conversation, Harm leant against the kitchen counter and opened his arms. Although a little hesitant at first, Mac made her way to him and slumped against his body, arms dangling at her side. Quickly, Harm wrapped her in an embraced and kissed the top of her head. For a long while he just held her and smiled, if only to himself, when her arms snaked around his body and she pressed closer to him.

Several long deep sighs later, Mac pulled back and slowly looked up at him.  
"Thank you," she all but whispered. "I needed that."  
"Anytime," he replied and this time he definitely meant it.

With their case done, closing arguments given by Bud, who had been second chair, and a win to his name, Harm had no plans and nothing to work on for the weekend. Instead, he had his sea bag in the trunk with his briefcase and he planned to camp out in Mac's apartment until Sunday night.

Something Mac wasn't aware of until she stumbled out of her bedroom for the kitchen at 0200 and walked straight into Harm. If she hadn't been so tired and confused, she would have jumped a mile and kicked his Navy butt as it was, she simply wrapped her arms around him and clung to him.

By Saturday afternoon, Mac was feeling marginally better. She had showered and actually dressed, even if it was sweats, and decided they should take a small walk so she could get some fresh air. Although it was a mild day and Mac was getting her coat, Harm wasn't all too sure that physical activity was a good idea. Still, in the end, he compromised by agreeing to a lap around the block and he ensured he held her hand the whole time so he could be the one setting the pace. Mac's didn't object.

As good as the fresh air felt, Mac was asleep two minutes after they returned. Harm had left her on the sofa and had to laugh when he returned with their water to find her sound asleep, still sitting up.  
"C'mon, marine," he said, scooping her up and carrying her to the bedroom. "You may as well be comfortable." Laying her on the bed, Harm undid her shoes and gently tugged them off. Grabbing the spare blankets nearby, Harm covered her up and closed the blinds. "Sleep well," he whispered before kissing her head and closing the door behind him.

Nearing 2100 hours, Harm was feeling hungry and decided soup with grilled cheese sandwiches was the way to go.  
Making enough for two, Harm laden the tray and made his way to Mac's bedroom, carefully he opened the door before placing the tray on the bedside table, closest to him. As Harm turned on the bedside lamp, Mac stirred and rubbed her eyes, Harm grinned thinking it was the most adorable sight he'd seen in a long time.  
"Dinner time, Mac," he said, waiting for her to move so he could help her sit up. A grumbled response was all he got. "Come on, marine," he encouraged, rubbing her arm. "Grilled cheese, just the way you like it."  
Mac's eyes opened and followed the scent of her favourite snack. "Really?" she questioned, sitting up with his help.  
"Really," he confirmed. "Three types of cheeses with the Swiss on top."

As Mac settled down to eat, Harm kicked off his shoes and climbed onto the bed beside her before eating his. It was a scene of domesticity and while it was lost on Mac, it certainly wasn't missed by Harm. This is what he had wanted for so very long and he realized after sitting in her bed, even if it was only for supper, that he never wanted to leave.

After their provisions were cleared away and Harm had brushed off the last of the crumbs, Mac repositioned herself against Harm's shoulder. It took no encouragement for him to raise his arm and let her slip onto his body before wrapping an arm around her. Using the other one, he pulled up the quilt and sighed deeply as her hand came up and rested on his chest. That sealed it, he definitely wasn't leaving.

Mac awoke Sunday morning feeling much better. Still nowhere near recovered, her perpetual headache seemed to have gone and her body felt more like her own. She had slept soundly and had even managed some nice dreams. As she went to get up for the bathroom, she found she was being held firmly in place by Harm and it took her more than a few minutes to realise the dreams had been the reality.

Abandoning thoughts of the bathroom, Mac settled back down against him and studied his face. He was older than she remembered; there were more lines around his eyes and a peppering of grey around his temple. When was the last time they'd been this close? Personally or physically? She couldn't remember. Life had been busy and they were still in their place of limbo, still, she told herself, she had to pay more attention.

Slowly, she raised her hand and caressed his face.

Why was it that this couldn't be a permanent arrangement?

Why was it that when things became 'interesting' one of them ran a mile?

Why was he looking at her that way?

"Morning," he said quietly, his blue eyes fixed on her brown ones as her fingers stopped on his cheek.  
"Morning," she whispered, not too sure what to do now.  
"Sleep well?" he asked, bring his hand up her arm and resting it on her back.  
"Very," she replied with a nod. "You?"  
"Never better," he replied truthfully. It was the best night's sleep in living memory.  
"Good," she said, biting down on her bottom lip, not wanting this conversation to end but not knowing what to say.  
"How are you feeling today?" he asked, his fingers brushing against her back.  
"Much better than yesterday," she replied with a grateful smile.  
"I'm glad to hear it," he said, placing a kiss on her forehead. "You're still warm."  
"I know," she said with a nod, although she wasn't too sure whether it was the flu or his presence in her bed increasing her temperature. "A few days and I'll be as good as new."

Harm had wanted to smile in encouragement at her declaration but he realized that the moment she felt better he would be relegated back to friend, so instead he frowned, he didn't want to be friend, not anymore.  
"Why the frown?" she asked, being bold and caressing his face.  
"Once you're better, you won't want me hanging around so much," he said honestly.  
"Says who?" she countered and Harm could have sworn she pressed closer to him.  
"You mean you do?" he questioned, needing to hear it specifically from her.  
"Meaning, I like this," she said quietly, cupping his face. "And I'd like to continue to do this with you when I'm well."  
"This, as in…." he prompted.  
"This, as in me and you," she said… "And bed," she added bravely.

Harm's eyes widened. Sure, that's what he wanted too but never in a million years had he expected those to be the words that came from Mac's mouth.  
"I'd like that too," he replied, pulling her closer. "Perhaps when you're better you would consider letting me take you out on a date."  
"I would consider that," she said with a shy smile. "And perhaps after a few dates you would consider joining me in bed."  
"Oh, I'd definitely consider that," he replied grinning as he tried to figure out how many dates would have to take place before he was in her bed for recreational reasons.  
"Before you ask," she said, reading his mind, "It's three."  
"Three what?" he asked, trying to feign ignorance.  
"Three dates… and before you play coy, you know exactly what I mean," she said raising an eyebrow.  
"Do I?" he said, toying with her.  
"Well, if you don't I can make it five or seven or…" she countered enjoying the panic spreading across his face.  
"No, no, I completely understand, three it is," he said quickly. There was no way he was going to jeopardize this, no way on earth!  
"Now, in the meantime," she said settling into his arms once more. "Think we can sleep a bit longer before you get me breakfast."  
"Of course we can," he said, adjusting the covers once more. "It's your bed, we can do anything you like."  
"Just remember that, sailor," she sassed as she closed her eyes.  
"Oh, I will," he replied. He most definitely would considering those words, not to mention images were seared into his brain.

As Mac drifted back to sleep, Harm's brain went into overdrive….just how far apart did these dates have to take place? Could he not take her to breakfast, lunch and dinner on the first day she felt well? Or would that seem desperate?

In the end he decided not to over think it, after all, this weekend hadn't been about getting into her bed and look how it turned out. Harm decided to be spontaneous and allow whatever was to come to come. He was going to be patient and relaxed and calm about the whole thing, even if it killed him. After all, right now, with Mac asleep in his arms, he felt he already had the most important thing – he had her she was regaining her health and that's all that really mattered.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All the usual legalese. All mistakes are mine

_  
Despite a weekend of receiving Harm's TLC, Mac was still not ready to return to work the following Monday and a visit to the clinic confirmed she would be having the rest of the week off as well. Harm had gone home Sunday night to regroup for the week but decided against the pretence of needing to go home Monday night and had slept alongside Mac in her bed. Tuesday, he slept over too and Wednesday, when he unexpectedly came in at midday, Mac was both happy to see him and concerned.  
"Are you ready?" he asked as he grabbed her jacket from the hook.  
"For what?" she replied, standing from the sofa.  
"You have a doctor's appointment," he replied, holding the jacket for her.  
Mac argued the point but Harm was insistent. He definitely knew he was correct as he had made the appointment himself the day before as he was concerned about Mac's recovery, or lack thereof. In the end, Mac conceded that perhaps a visit to her own doctor was in order as she had expected to be fully recovered by now herself.

Sitting in the waiting room, Mac's knee bounced nervously until Harm covered it with his hand and offered her a reassuring smile. When she started tapping her fingers, Harm took her hand and kissed it before entwining his fingers with hers and kissing her head.  
"What are you so nervous about?" he whispered as she leant into him.  
"Who says I'm nervous?" she countered quickly.  
Harm just smiled and kissed her head; he wasn't going to argue with her.

After a short silence, Mac took a deep breath. "Okay, maybe I'm a little nervous," she admitted, not looking at him. "I should be better by now and I've lost a lot of weight recently."  
"The flu will do that to you," Harm replied, holding her a little tighter.  
"I was losing it before the flu…that just exacerbated things," she said in a whisper.  
"Any idea why?" he questioned gently.  
"Some," she said with a nod.

Before she could continue, her name was called and she stood to go in to the doctor while Harm remained seated. Slowly, she stretched out her hand towards him, she didn't want to ask him to go in but she felt like she needed him with her. Taking her hand, Harm squeezed it and stood alongside her, knowing just how hard it would have been to admit, if only to herself, that she needed him. In the past he would have made some comment, this time he just smiled reassuringly and followed her into the consulting room.

After a range of tests, Mac sat in front of the doctor as he scanned her file. After jotting down a few notes he looked from Mac to Harm and back to Mac.  
"Okay, Sarah," he started, putting down his pen and clasping his hands. "Tell me what's been going on with you?"  
"I've had the flu," she replied quickly. "For about two weeks and this week I've been trying to recover."  
"And what about before the flu, anything different there?" he questioned as he watched Mac look at Harm then back to him. "Would this be easier if Harm wasn't here?"  
"No," said Mac slowly.  
"I can go, Mac," Harm offered realizing she was quite uncomfortable.  
"No," she repeated taking his hand in hers once more. "I can do this." Taking a deep breath she looked towards the doctor. "Between my last visit and the flu I hadn't been eating that much which is probably why the flu has impacted on me so much," she admitted.  
"And why weren't you eating?" Harm asked before the doctor could.  
"Oh, a couple of reasons," she said with a shrug. "The main one was thinking and over thinking about the outcome of that last appointment," she said looking at the doctor. "I guess it hit me that my reproductive chances were diminishing by the minute and I was obsessing about it. Then there was the case I was working…that was all consuming too."  
"Sarah," the doctor said. "We didn't discuss anything new at your last appointment. So, what caused the stress?"  
Mac just shrugged.

The doctor nodded, perhaps this wasn't the most conducive setting to a full and frank conversation. "How are you feeling about things now?"  
"Okay," she said, tilting her head. "Just lethargic."  
"And have you been eating?" he questioned.  
"Yes, she has," Harm answered. "Much more this week than last."  
"I'm glad to hear it," he replied. "Is there a need for me to refer you to a counselor or …"  
"No need," Mac said quickly. "I'm on top of things," she added, chancing a glance at Harm who squeezed her hand.  
"Okay, you have lost a total of 12lbs since you last appointment, I'm going to see you again next month and we'll see where things stand. If you've put the weight back on all will be good, if not we'll investigate further," he said jotting down his notes.  
"Okay," Mac replied, relieved the doctor's appointment was over but knowing she still had to contend with Harm.

It was on the third floor in a quiet corridor that Harm decided to broach the subject. Stopping Mac in the doorway of an empty examination room, Harm stood in front of her and raised her face to meet his. Looking into her deep, sad eyes, anything he was going to say evaporated and so he leant down and kissed her cheek instead.  
"Where would you like me to take you for lunch?" he asked, his forefinger gently tracing the swell of her cheek.  
"Um," she replied, trying to hide her tears.  
"Hey?" he said as he arms wound around her. "What is it?"  
She shook her head against his chest as her hands linked behind his back.  
"What?" he repeated.  
"You're being too nice to me," she said resting her head on his shoulder.  
"You'll just have to get used to it," he replied, raking his fingers through her hair.  
"Aha," she replied before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry."  
"For what?" he questioned, using his finger to raise her face.  
"Being a mess," she answered. "This isn't like me at all."  
"No, it's not," he agreed. "But the flu will do that," he said, giving her an excuse. Mac nodded. "And so will starving yourself; so, I'll ask again, where would you like to go for lunch?"

It was a small restaurant near Mac's apartment where they finally decided to dine and Harm sat patiently as Mac um-ed and ah-ed about what she wanted. He didn't want to rush her and he didn't want to push her; what he wanted was a relationship with her that worked and he was doing everything to fight his instincts when it came to her as those had certainly not helped him on the past.  
"It all looks good, doesn't it, Mac?" Harm said when he caught the waitress rolling her eyes at Mac's indecision.  
"Yes, it does," she replied with a small smile. "I'll have the smoked salmon," she finally said to Harm's surprise; she'd never ordered fish with him before.  
"I'll have the chicken Caesar salad," Harm said, handing back his menu. "In case you don't like the salmon we can switch," he added when he saw Mac's curious look. She smiled gratefully.

With nothing too heavy discussed over lunch, Mac was waiting for Harm to bring up the topics of her eating or non-eating as the case was, and her reference to her fertility, but nothing eventuated. So, it was that when they returned to her apartment, Mac decided to end her misery and actually speak.  
"Are you being tactful and not mentioning what the doctor said?" she asked, "Or…" she didn't know how to finish that thought.  
"I'm giving you a chance to talk to me," he replied, leaning against her kitchen bench waiting for the coffee to filter through.  
Mac nodded but said nothing.  
"Do you want to talk to me?" he questioned, keeping his tone and body language neutral.  
Mac shrugged. "Don't really know what to say."  
"That's okay," he replied, reaching out and taking her hand. "We don't have to discuss it today."  
Mac nodded again and wondered where the motivated, articulate marine lawyer had gone.  
"And…" Harm continued, "When you are ready, I'll be right here ready to listen."  
"Why?" Mac whispered and Harm frowned not too sure what 'why' referred too.  
"Why what?" he asked pulling her closer and linking his hands behind her neck.  
"Usually you'd cajole or pressure me into talking. Why aren't you?" she clarified, looking up at him.  
"Because, as I told you last weekend, I want this thing between me and you to work. Whatever we've done in the past hasn't worked and so, I'm taking another path," he said as he looked into her eyes.  
"I want this to work too," she said quietly. "I want our three dates and I want a lot more after that," Mac added with greater confidence.  
"That's what I want too," he said before kissing her forehead. "And we're going to take this as fast or slow as we need too and I'm going to try my hardest not to screw this up."  
"I'm going to try not to screw this up either," Mac agreed reaching up to place a gentle kiss on his lips.  
"Okay, we're agreed," he said, kissing her back but ensuring the kiss didn't develop into anything more than either of them were ready for.

By the following Monday, Mac was back at her desk and trying to sort through the copious emails, messages and tasks which had accumulated in her two week absence. As she replied to yet another email she had to wonder if anyone had actually done anything while she had been away as there seemed to be an awful amount of work to be done.  
When lunch arrived, she was exhausted and not feeling very inclined towards eating. She would have worked through had Harm not arrived at her door to take her to lunch. While she didn't eat as much as she normally would she did eat enough to please Harm, and herself, before locking herself away in her office to try and catch up.

Realising his senior officer was still had not completely recovered from the flu which had hit his staff hard, General Cresswell did not assign Mac any new cases that week and also insisted that she leave by 1500 each day as he was concerned for her welfare. Feeling better as the week progressed, Mac caught up with Harm in the break room on Thursday morning and, after ensuring they were alone, kissed his lips.  
"Hello to you too, marine," he said with a grin as she pulled back. "Was that for anything in particular?"  
"I am feeling much better," she said with a broad smile.  
"You're looking better," he agreed, entwining his fingers with hers.  
"And I was kind of hoping …well, tomorrow night is date night…" she said with a sudden bout of shyness.  
"Our first date?" he suggested and she nodded.

Before they could continue a petty officer entered and the moment was gone. Harm wasn't too disappointed as it gave him the opportunity to ask Mac out properly. Thirty minutes later, as Mac worked at her desk, Harm picked up his phone and called her extension.  
"Hi, Mac," he said when she answered.  
"Hi, Harm," she replied. "Everything alright?"  
"I was wondering if you had plans for tomorrow night?" he asked, trying to keep his voice even.  
"No, I don't," she replied playing with the phone cord.  
"Well, I would like to take you to dinner and a movie…or movie and a dinner," he said, picking traditional first date activities.  
"That sounds like a date," she said and Harm could hear her cheeky tone in her voice.  
"It is, Mac," he confirmed. "I would like to date you and develop something more than friendship," he said, knowing that she already knew this.  
"Really?" she asked with a broad grin.  
"Really," he confirmed. "So, what do you say?"  
Mac thought about it. While the answer was easily yes, she couldn't decide which activity should come first. "It's a hard decision," she finally said.  
"What is?' Harm asked concerned. Surely it was simple – yes, she would date him.  
"I don't know if the movie should come first or last…" she said, truly perplexed. She knew she'd be in his arms during the movie and it would be great to end the night that way but then she'd like to start the night that way too…dinner just seemed like an inconvenience.  
"So, is that a yes?" he questioned.  
"Oh, yes," she said. "Definitely yes."  
"I'll pick you up at seven," he said, a plan already forming.

Harm wasn't the only one with a plan, General Cresswell did too and that was to send Harm to North Island Naval Base for a four day investigation the first thing on Friday morning. When Harm called to tell her, Mac was more sad than disappointed. Not only would they have to put their first date on hold, she wouldn't get to see him for four whole days and that made her sad.  
"I'll call you as soon as I can," he said when he heard her melancholy tone.  
"That would be good," she replied, wiping at her eyes.  
"I'm going to miss you, marine," he said, cursing the master chief who had made his departure necessary.  
"Going to miss you too," she said with a sigh.  
"You make sure you get plenty of rest and plenty to eat," he instructed.  
"I will," she answered. "And you make sure you tie this up as soon as possible."

Harm's orders meant a long conversation was not possible and all too soon he hung up the receiver and sighed more than disappointed his plans had been thwarted. More than that, he was going to miss Mac so much and this time he could openly admit it.  
The four days stretched to five and then to six. Wednesday night he phoned Mac just on eight, east coast time, and woke her.  
"Sorry," he said as soon as he caught her sleepy voice.  
"It's okay," she replied. "I guess going back to work full time has taken more out of me than I expected."  
"Are you looking after yourself?" he asked, wishing like crazy he could be with her.  
"Yeah," she said. "Harriet has been making sure of it. Did you call her?"  
"Maybe," he answered with a smile.  
"Thanks," Mac said sincerely. Harriet had provided a nice break from the loneliness she was experiencing in Harm's absence. "When are you home?"  
"Tomorrow hopefully," he said with his fingers crossed. "Friday possibly but most likely over the weekend."  
"Okay," she replied with a shake of her head. Another date night would be gone before she saw him.  
"Are you alright?" he questioned, wishing he could see her face and know the truth.  
"Yeah," she said with a heavy sigh. "Just missing you," she said with a small smile at the fact she could admit it to him.  
"I miss you too," he said quickly.  
"Tell me why," she said with a yawn.  
"Why I miss you?" he clarified.  
"Aha," she replied with another yawn.

Before Harm could give his answer Mac's soft snoring told him she's fallen asleep. "Night, Mac," he said before disconnecting the call. After spending a dozen minutes lying on his bed thinking of all the reasons why he missed her, Harm decided Mac deserved to hear them. Rather than phoning her back, he grabbed his laptop and opened up a new email to her.

'Dear Mac,  
You asked me why I miss you and then you fell asleep but I figured you deserved an answer and there are so many of them. I tried to figure out the best way to tell you and then I realized it doesn't matter how I tell you, just so long as I tell you.

Please forgive my cheesy attempt at free verse poetry but I wanted to get as much down as I could and I remember Mrs Bradley in the fourth grade telling me I had a certain poetic style.

I miss the **Z**ip which goes through me when I see your smile.  
I miss **Y**ou…more than ever before, more than I imagined possible, more than I can explain.  
I miss the **X**-tra time we've been spending together… I have cherished those moments.  
I miss **W**atching you sleep. Do you know how beautiful you are?  
I miss the **V**ision of you with your hair mussed from sleep and your cowboy pjs.  
I miss having your **U**ndivided attention when we're together.  
I miss **T**ouching you, caressing you…kissing you.  
I miss your **S**mile.  
I miss you **R**eaching for my hand when we've been walking.  
I miss you **Q**uizzing me when you think I'm hiding something from you.  
I miss **P**laying with your hair as we watch television.  
I miss **O**pening my eyes and you being the first thing I see.  
I miss your **N**ose. It's so cute when you wrinkle it.  
I miss **M**ac…my best friend and my everything.  
I miss **L**ying next to you in your bed.  
I miss **K**issing you… did I mention that before? I miss it a lot.  
I miss **J**oking around with you. Your laugh is so special.  
I miss your **I**ncredible personality. You are definitely one of a kind.  
I miss you **H**elping me to cook…even if you aren't that helpful.  
I miss your **G**orgeous eyes. They are so deep and soulful.  
I miss your **F**riendship. You are the most important person in my life. I hope you know that.  
I miss **E**verything about you…about us.  
I miss **D**inners with you, and lunch and breakfast.  
I miss **C**atching you looking at me… you do look and don't deny it.  
I miss **B**eing with you…so much.  
I miss you. You are **A**mazing…  
Always yours,  
Harm'

Without rereading or checking it, Harm pressed 'send' and then it dawned on him that perhaps Mac would feel compelled to reply in such terms and he didn't want to put any pressure on her. So, he opened another new message.

'Me again,' he started.  
A couple of things…first, I don't want you to reply to my last email…well, maybe a message to say you received it. I'd rather you just read it and we can discuss it when I get back.  
Also, I am well aware that there is a sequence of three little words missing from that piece…I think some things are best said face to face and not in an email, don't you?  
Anyway, sleep well, beautiful, and eat well and I'll see you soon,  
Harm'


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: not mine  
The mistakes are...

It was at her desk the following morning that Mac opened her emails and read Harm's second one first. Wondering what he was talking about, Mac opened the first email and sat and read his words… each line making her smile and causing tears to fall. Here was her sailor articulating his feelings; something she wasn't sure he was actually capable of.  
After reading it three times, Mac hit reply. 'Got it, thanks.' Was her short message.

The day seemed interminably long as she spent her time thinking about Harm, and his words, and his body….  
Not able to get a hold of Harm, Mac spent Thursday night curled up on the sofa reading his email that she'd printed off…and rereading it…and rereading it. In the end she had to declare that not even Shakespeare had written anything so good.

At her desk early Friday morning, Mac looked up to find a very familiar shape in her doorway.  
"Harm!" she shrieked, jumping up from her desk and throwing her arms around his neck, not bothering to check if anyone else was around.  
"Hello there!" he said, wrapping his arms around her and moving them into her office, using his foot to close the door before reaching over to close the blinds.  
"Hello," Mac said before pulling him down and kissing him thoroughly.  
"It's nice to be home," he mumbled as she pulled away, her lips swollen.  
"Missed you," she said before kissing him again.  
"I can see," he replied, stroking her face.  
"Thank you for the answer," she said suddenly feeling shy.  
"You're more than welcome," he said, kissing her cheek. "I meant every word."

After one more long kiss, Harm reluctantly excused himself to report to Cresswell and, knowing he would have the rest of the day off, Harm made sure Mac was prepared to have their first date that night, which she was.

Having the day to himself, Harm decided to put it to good use. Going home, he showered and changed before heading straight out to Best Buys and picking up a huge flat screen television, additional surround sound speakers, DVD player and twenty of the all – time best movie picks. Paying more than he had ever done so on electronic devices in his life combined, Harm forked out money for the delivery and installment and paid a whole lot extra to have it done that afternoon. Moving to a nearby furniture store, Harm decided his leather sofa had to go in favour of a new lounge suite which had armchair and sofa recliners, that way Mac could curl up with him on the sofa and watch movies to her heart's content. He'd seen similar chairs in a premier class of a movie theater once and thought Mac deserved the best. His biggest decision was on the covering of the chair. While he was a leather man at heart, the only suite deliverable that day was a grey crushed fabric with a geometric print. It wouldn't have been his first choice but time was of the essence and so he purchased it along with some super soft cushions and throw rugs.

Picking up groceries on his way home, Harm deposited them in his loft before phoning Mr Huxley, his downstairs neighbor. Mr Huxley's son had recently moved out of home and could use a good lounge suite and Harm wanted to give him first option. With Huxley Junior there within the hour and the furniture removed, Harm gave the place a thorough cleaning before turning his attention to their evening meal. There had been so many things he thought about cooking before he got to the grocery store but then realized they would be eating it on his new furniture and it had to be something suitable. The answer came to him as he scoured the shelves – hot dogs, soda, popcorn and a range of candy. Maybe it wasn't the healthiest of choices but what the hell? Mac loved it all and the extra calories wouldn't be a problem.

With great organization and effort, Harm stood outside Mac's door at ten before the hour with a single white rose, chosen to symbolize new beginnings – their new beginning. He was dressed casually in jeans with a white button down shirt and trainers. Opening the door, Mac greeted him with a radiant smile and her bathrobe.  
"Didn't count on you being early," she said as he leant in to kiss her softly.  
"I thought you might change your mind if I was late," he said quietly as he handed over the flower.  
"No chance of that," she said accepting the rose before inhaling its delicate scent. "Thank you, it's beautiful."  
"And so are you," he said, caressing her cheek. "Would you like me to put it in water while you get dressed?" he offered and Mac nodded. "Not that I have any objection to what you're wearing now."  
Mac laughed. "Back in five!"

Exactly five minutes later, Mac reappeared in blue jeans and a red shirt which hugged all the right places and made Harm's mouth water.  
"Something wrong?" she asked when she caught his expression.  
"Not a thing," he replied, taking her hand and leading her out the door to start their first date.  
Mac grinned to herself and vowed not to tell him she'd left work an hour early to go shopping for the shirt given her recent weight loss and the fact it was it was a first date after all– an expedition which took all of five minutes once she saw this particular shirt. She had gotten the response she was aiming for.

When Harm parked in front of his building and they headed up, Mac was expecting them only to be there a minute, thinking Harm had forgotten something. When he unlocked the door and let her enter first she was overwhelmed by the new furnishings and the glowing candles scattered about.  
"Mr Huxley lit them," he said at her concerned look. "That was him heading down the stairs as the elevator opened."  
"It's all so beautiful…and different. When? Why?" she asked, caressing the arm of the sofa.  
"Today and because I wanted our first date to be perfect … you couldn't decide on dinner or the movies first, this way neither has to be," he said, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead.  
"You did all this for me? Really?" she asked quite astounded.  
"I did it for us… I want this to work, Mac. I really do," he said as she reached up to cup his face.  
"So do I, Harm. So do I."

While Harm prepared the drinks, Mac perused his new DVD collection and his butt when he wasn't looking. Deciding to go for movie length rather than story line, she chose the classic epic 'Gone with the Wind' knowing it would take up a long portion of the evening. Handing Mac her tonic water with a twist, Harm picked up the remote and the cheat sheet the installer had prepared earlier and hit a combination of buttons and screens. Eventually, he slotted the DVD into the machine and it was to his great relief the movie started; it gave him the excuse to now test out his reclining sofa.

Comfortably settled on the new acquisition, Harm wrapped one arm around Mac while the other reached across and pressed the button on the sofa's arm. He had to laugh at her expression as the huge footrest materialized.  
"Nothing but the best," he chuckled before kissing her head.

Leaving no room between them, Mac rested her head on Harm's chest and smiled as he played with her hair. The goings on at Tara became a blur as she concentrated on the feelings he was creating and the emotions he was stirring. Silently, she damned herself for putting the 'three dates' out there. Tonight was a perfect night for moving things forward but she wasn't going to push it. The movie wasn't quarter way in when Mac rolled herself onto Harm and kissed him deeply.  
"It's a perfect first date," she said when she finally pulled back.  
"It's only just started," he said with a grin.  
"I have faith in you," she replied before kissing him again and again. Eventually her stomach growled.  
"Guess I should feed you," he said somewhat reluctantly as it meant he would have to get up. He only hoped the relative darkness would hide other things which had come up but he had to concede that, given Mac's previous position, she would have known about it already.

Coming back to the sofa with laden tray, Harm put the offering on the coffee table. There was a basket of mini hot dog buns along with a bowl of mini frankfurts and a bowl of vegetarian ones, bottles of ketchup, mustard and relish, a small bowl of onions he'd fried earlier and warmed in the microwave and a three part dish of grated cheeses.  
"Help yourself," he said, handing her a plate and napkin before gesturing to the tray.

As Mac picked up a bun, Harm refilled their glasses and returned to find her sitting on the floor next to the coffee table eating.  
"I didn't want to get the sofa dirty," she explained with a mouthful of food.  
Rather than argue the point, Harm simply slid onto the floor beside her and put together his own hot dog. Realising Mac was watching as he finished with a dollop of mustard, he held it up and offered it to her – her response was to wrinkle up her nose at the thought of a vegetarian frankfurt.  
"It's good, I promise," he said so Mac reluctantly took a small bite. To her surprise it was quite nice but there was no way she would concede that point as she feared it may encourage Harm to only prepare vegetarian food for her, something she couldn't cope with. "What do you think?"  
"It's okay," she said slowly and deliberately. "Would be better with a real frank."

Quickly, Harm put down his and whipped her up one with all the same ingredients with the real frank instead and offered her a bite. Once again she accepted, took a small bite and then smiled.  
"Much better," she said with a grin.  
Right now she knew she had complete control over Harm. He was going out of his way to accommodate her every wish, he was being everything she had hoped for during their rocky times over the years of their friendship, he was being… different.  
Soon her smile disappeared and her brow creased.  
"What's up?" he asked, taking the last mouthful of the hotdog.  
"I'm trying to figure something out," she said as she played with her napkin.  
"And what's that?" he questioned, putting his plate on the table.  
"This change in you…" she started slowly. "You've been so amazing lately…"  
"Haven't I always been," he said with a forced laugh, he wasn't sure he liked the way this conversation was headed.  
"To be honest, no," she said sadly. "I know there's a lot that's happened to us and between us over the years and some of the time neither of us was amazing," she admitted, her head dropping. He raised it back up again. "For a long time," she continued, "I wanted you… I wanted this… but to be honest, I was really starting to think it wouldn't happen for us… that we couldn't change into the people who could make this work."  
"I'd kinda been thinking the same thing," he admitted, reaching out to hold her hand.  
"Then suddenly, bam! Here we are and I guess I'm wondering if those changes in you are …well, I don't know what to think," she stumbled.  
"I have told you before that I won't make you promises I can't keep. I can't say for certain that I won't go and say or do something you find totally infuriating. I can't say I won't do anything that will make you disappointed in me. After all, I am human and I've had 40 years of being that guy," he said squeezing her hand. "But being that guy wasn't getting me _this _girl…"  
"It was getting you lots of girls," she interrupted.  
"Yes, but not _this_ girl," he repeated, caressing her face. "And I only want this girl and have done for a while now."  
"And what's so special about this girl?" she asked knowing he was talking about her.  
"She's the girl I fell in love with," he said, studying her face for a response.  
"You did?" she asked and he nodded. "Do you think you'll tell her?"  
"Maybe," he said with a shrug. "I wanted to make sure she was ready to hear it. I can do a lot of things on the spur of the moment and I wanted to make sure she knows that this isn't one of those times."  
"I think she knows it's a considered opinion," Mac said, trying to sound more lawyer and less girl in love.  
"Really?" he asked and Mac nodded. "So you think I should tell her?"  
"I do," she replied. "Think she'd really like to hear it."  
"Okay," he said, before making himself another hotdog. "What?" he asked when he saw he glare at him.  
She raised her eyebrows in annoyance and Harm laughed. "Do you think she wants to hear it right now?"  
Mac shrugged feigning nonchalance before a grin spread across her face.  
"I was thinking that perhaps the third date would be the best time," he said trying to hide his smirk.

Mac's swift punch to the arm, before she jumped up and headed for the kitchen, made him reconsider whether this was the best time to toy with her emotions. Just as fast he was on his feet and had grabbed her from behind, turning her around to face him before kissing her soundly.

When he pulled back he kissed her nose and forehead before cupping her face in his hands and gazing into her deep chocolate orbs.  
"I cannot pinpoint the day where my feelings changed from like to love but I do know it happened long ago. It has just taken me a while to be able to figure things out and after spending time with you when you were ill, it all crystallized … I never wanted to be anywhere but your side ever again and I realized that that being the case then I needed to act on it and I needed to articulate it. You, Sarah MacKenzie, are my best friend, you are so much a part of who I am and who I want to be. You are the one I cherish and adore and love and I do love you, Mac, with all I am…with all I will be," he declared in hushed tones as the tears ran unchecked down his cheeks in response to hers.  
Reaching down he placed a chaste kiss on her lips before moving back and caressing her face.

For several moments Mac stood there, her eyes glazed and her cheeks damp. Words were failing her as she tried to decide the best way to respond. While she knew he was going to tell her he loved her she was floored by the way he had done it. She had been expecting a simple 'I love you' and instead got a beautiful declaration.  
With speaking not currently an option, she threw her arms around his neck and burrowed her head into Harm, holding him as tightly as she possible could. Harm wrapped his arms around her and secured her against him before kissing her head.  
"You okay?" he finally asked as she lifted her head. She nodded. "You don't have to say anything, you know."  
'I know," she said with a nod. "But I want to…" Tears sprang anew and Harm wiped them away. "Do you know how much I wanted to believe that you loved me?" she started slowly. "How many times in recent weeks…months…years…I thought about this…you and me…me and you… and every time I thought we were getting somewhere something changed."  
"But not this time," Harm interrupted gently as he caressed her face.  
"No, not this time," she echoed. "Harm…" she took his hand and placed it above her heart. "I am very much in love with you and while right now I am struggling to find the right words, know that this…" she patted his hand on her chest… "Is yours…has been for a while…always will be. I love you, Harm."

Another long searing kiss sealed the declaration; a kiss which saw them move backwards to the sofa before falling onto it and starting and very slow and deliberate exploration of each other. With soft kisses and softer hands touching and teasing her body, Mac writhed around him as they lay entwined on Harm's newest favourite piece of furniture. Dedicatedly, he kissed each inch of her exposed flesh, while his hand glided beneath the taut red fabric and delicately grazed her bare skin. Murmurs of contentment, sighs of pleasure and groans of not yet fulfilled gratification bounced around the room. In time, their positions changed but the activity remained the same; Each one taking their time to learn the taste and texture of the other. Each one doing things in reality that had taken up a considerable amount of time in their respective fantasies. Each one delighted that these tentative steps to excitement and exhilaration were filled with passion and desire.

Around four, Mac awoke from her deep sleep when Harm moved behind her on the sofa. Looking around the room, she noted that many of the candles had burnt out and the movie was a long time finished; not that they had seen the ending…of middle…or pretty much anything but the first fifteen minutes. As she pushed back against him, she sighed at the intimacy of the situation and the feelings of love and desire which were rising once more. Given the lack of dinner, the hunger pangs she was experiencing didn't surprise Mac but she was very reluctant to shift from the sofa and from Harm's arms. A huge grin spread across her face when she realized the perfect solution to a few of her problems….food and moving things along.

With ninja skills, she slipped out of his grasp and off the sofa before adjusting her clothes and heading for the door. Once outside she closed the door, pressed the buzzer and held her breath. Inside the loft, Harm awoke startled and was surprised to see Mac had gone but when he saw her purse still on the armchair he knew she hadn't gone far.  
Quickly, he opened the door and smiled sleepily when he saw her.  
"Hi Mac," he said, wondering what she was up to. "What's up?"  
"I had a lovely first date last night," she said, leaning against the door jamb.  
"I had a wonderful time myself," he replied, copying her position on the other side.  
"And I was hoping I could take you out to breakfast for our second date as a way of saying thank you," she said, reaching out and caressing his arm.  
"I would love to go to breakfast with you," he said, "Although thanking me is not at all necessary."  
"Oh, I think it is," she said.  
Harm just smiled. "And when will this breakfast date take place?" he asked as his fingers linked with hers. He now knew she was just as eager to get to the third date as he was.  
"Are you free now?" she asked leaning against him.  
"It's just gone four, Mac," he reminded her.  
"That's okay, there's a 24 hour IHOP nearby or that diner a few blocks east," she suggested. "Unless you'd rather leave it another time," she added with a sad smile.  
"Now is perfect," Harm said eagerly. "Won't you come in for a minute so I can get my shoes?"

Mac stepped in and organized herself as Harm blew out the remaining candles and readied himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: not mine  
The mistakes are...

After pulling up across the car from the Benny's Diner they had picked, Harm climbed out of the car and turned to find Mac hadn't moved and had a rather unimpressed look on her face.

Quickly, he rounded the car to her side and opened the door.  
"If you don't want to eat here we can go somewhere else," he suggested quickly.  
"What's wrong with here?" she asked, looking up at him.  
"Nothing," he answered. "It's just that you didn't look too impressed just now."  
"Oh," she replied. "That has nothing to do with the diner."  
"Then what is it?" he probed as he took her hand and helped her from the car.  
"You never kissed me goodnight after our first date," she said with a pout. Harm smiled. "And that's supposed to be a special kiss."  
"Is it just?" he asked as he stepped towards her.  
"It is." She nodded. "It's supposed to show whether or not we are compatible."  
"I think we proved we were compatible during the date," he countered, "very satisfactorily."  
"Oh," she said with a sigh.

Harm took in her appearance and decided that her pouts and sighs were borne of a true disappointment… that she wasn't trying to be coy or playful, that she indeed had anticipated a kiss goodnight.  
"You know," he started as he ran his hands up and down her arms. "If I had of taken you home last night, I would have kissed you goodnight… it is something I have thought about often."  
"Really?" she questioned as she looked up at him with doe eyes.  
"It is," he confirmed.  
"How?" she questioned.  
"Well, first I would have taken a small step forward," he began, his actions imitating his words. "And then I would have tenderly stroked your face. If I saw you were happy with that I would have leant forward and gently kissed you." Harm placed a featherlight kiss upon her eager lips.  
"And then?" she asked when her eyes opened.  
"Well, it was only a first date, I wouldn't have wanted to be too forward," he said as he linked his arms around her neck.  
"What if I had wanted you too?" she asked wrapping her arms around his waist.  
"Then I would have continued," he said and she smiled. "I would have placed at least a dozen soft kisses across your cheek and your lips…" He did so. "And the last one would have just a little more force than the others." He kissed her a little harder. "If you reciprocated I would have deepened the kiss and waited for your permission to continue."  
"You'd have had it," she said, holding him tighter.  
"Then I would have used the tip of my tongue to gently brush across your lips and…"

Any further narration of the kiss was curtailed when Mac raked her fingers through Harm's hair and then used her new position to continue the kiss. True to his words, Harm's tongue danced delicately along her lips until she opened her mouth and it slipped inside. There he began a slow and methodical exploration of her mouth and tongue which left her breathless and weak at the knees.  
"And that's how I would have done it," he said as he finally pulled back and watched her glazed eyes.  
"I would have liked that," she replied, her lips swollen.  
He quickly kissed Mac again before taking her hand and leading her into the building.

Sitting opposite of Harm in a torn red leather booth at the far side of the diner, Mac leant on the table and just looked at him. He was indeed gorgeous and the sparkle in the still sleepy blue eyes made her stomach flutter.

"See something you like?"

Mac was just about to reply with something very suggestive when she realized the question had come from the waitress who had given them menus earlier.  
"Ah, the full breakfast with black coffee," she said quickly.  
"I'll have the vegetarian omelette with wheat toast and an apple juice, thanks," Harm said, handing back both menus.

Once the waitress left, Harm reached over and took Mac's hands in his.  
"That wasn't your first thought, now was it?" he said slyly as he raised an eyebrow.  
"Whatever do you mean?" she asked with an impish smile.

Harm grinned at her playfulness. This was the woman he had fallen in love with…the one he wanted desperately and forever more and, he vowed to himself, he wasn't going to mess this up.

Chatter between the pair was hushed but continuous and, except for the occasional laugh, the waitress and other diners couldn't hear what was being said but it was clearly evident from their faces and body language that the two were deeply in love and it wasn't something that was new either.

By the time their meals arrived, Mac had moved around the table and slid next to Harm, thoroughly enjoying that she could touch him and kiss him anytime she pleased. It was the waitress' cough which told her breakfast was ready and that she wasn't overly happy with their antics, but Mac didn't care, not in the least.

With neither having eaten much for dinner, their food being forgotten in pursuit of a long make out session that would do any teenager proud, both devoured their food in near silence. As he ate the last of his toast, Harm was trying to figure out how to prolong the date but as Mac yawned for the third time in five minutes he had to concede that perhaps he needed to take her home to bed…to sleep of course as this was only the second date…unfortunately, he thought to himself.

The walk up to Mac's apartment was slow and both were rehearsing what to say and do when they finally reached her door. As the dreaded moment arrived, Mac slid her key into the door and opened the lock before turning around. As she did, Harm surprised her with a very deep, thorough kiss which left her pulse racing and her cursing she had insisted on three dates.

"What was that?" she asked, trying to play for time.  
"I was kissing you goodnight…properly," he added with a grin.  
"But you weren't supposed to," she said with a frown.  
"Why not?" Harm questioned, more than surprised at her response.  
"Because, while you did drive, it was me who invited you on our second date. Therefore, it should be me kissing you goodnight," she said resolutely.  
Harm chuckled. "Well, what are you waiting for then?" he challenged as he took her hand.

Mac glared at him for a moment as her brain ticked over wildly, trying to come up with a kiss which would see him melt into a puddle; the same effect he had on her. When the moment of inspiration struck, she stood on tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the lips before saying goodnight and heading inside her apartment.

This sudden turn of events had alarmed more than surprised Harm. He had been anticipating a more heated exchange and perhaps an invitation inside or, at the very least, plans for their third date. Mulling this over as he slowly descended the stairs, Harm shook his head, trying to figure out whether he'd done or said anything which may have caused Mac's flip in behavior.

Sitting in his car still trying to figure it out, Harm was disturbed by the ping of his cell telling him he had a message. Briefly glancing at it, he saw it was from Mac and quickly pressed 'read'. His blood ran cold when he saw her short message; '911'.

Out of the car, Harm climbed the stairs three at a time and arrived back at Mac's apartment breathless and panicked. This sense of panic increased dramatically when he realized her door was open.  
"Mac! Mac?" he called as he ran into the living room and flung the door shut behind him. "Mac!"

Appearing in her bedroom doorway, Mac, who had changed into a red lacy camisole and panties set, leant back against the jamb. Harm instantly crossed the room towards her, stopping about a foot away.  
"911?" he asked almost breathless, holding up his phone and trying to focus his eyes on her face and nowhere else. "What's the emergency?"  
"I wanted to see you," she said with a playful shrug.  
"Couldn't you have said that?" he asked, waving the phone once more.  
"911 was quicker… and, anyway, I needed you in a hurry," she admitted with a grin.  
"And what do you need me for?" he asked, not daring to step any closer.  
"Well, my bed is very big…and cold … and lonely," she said with a pout.  
"Are you inviting me in?" he asked gesturing towards her room.  
"I am," she said with a nod as she reached out and started unbuttoning his shirt.  
"What about your third date rule?" he asked as she pushed his shirt off his shoulders and onto the floor.  
"Who said we'd be having sex?" she countered, stopping her undressing of him.  
"Well, I thought…" he stammered. "It seemed…" he stopped, not knowing how to explain himself.

Mac laughed heartily at his stricken expression and decided to take pity on the man in front of her.  
"Actually, you're right," she said. "We will be having sex in there," she said matter of factly. "If you want…"  
"Oh, I want," he agreed as she led him into the room. "But I ask again, what about your third date rule?"  
"I think it's very overrated," she said as she undid his jeans and pushed them down.  
"Me too," he agreed as he toed off his shoes and shucked off the jeans.

Truth was Mac was usually very strict about the third date … well, since she had joined the marines she had been. However, with Harm she was prepared to make the exception…and every other exception needed to make this encounter possible.

With a little force, Mac pushed Harm backwards so he was sitting on the side of her bed. Stepping in, she ran her hands from his face to behind his neck and clasped them together. Immediately, Harm wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him. Reaching up, Harm gazed into her eyes and waited for her to lean down to kiss him – something which didn't happen.

Instead, she stood still and stared at him and soon he found it rather unsettling.  
"Something wrong?" he finally asked, holding her a little tighter.  
"Um, no," she answered in a whisper.  
"Um, no?" he echoed. "You don't sound too convinced."  
"I'm okay," she said, her voice a little shaky.  
"Mac?" he drawled, watching every flicker of emotion play across her face.  
"Sorry," she said, dropping her head before leaning into him.  
"What are you sorry for?" he asked, pulling her closer still, his hand rubbing small circles on her back.

Shaking her head, Mac couldn't come up with an answer. The fact was she was battling a sudden onslaught of nerves and although she wanted this more than she had wanted anything in a long time, her heart was beating so fast she wasn't all too sure she wasn't going to pass out.

Feeling the rapid pounding of her heart against his skin, Harm had some idea as to what the problem was and felt somewhat relieved she seemed to be as nervous as he was.

Pushing himself up from the bed, Harm held Mac close and kissed her head.  
"Do you know how much I love you, Mac?" he asked as he kissed her cheek.  
"Aha," she replied, shyly looking up at him.  
"You are, without a doubt, the most incredible person I know," he continued as he kissed her again. "You are so beautiful, inside and out …"  
"I love you, Harm," she said as she finally found her voice. Reaching up her lips found his and soon they were locked in a vigorous kiss which saw Harm fall backwards onto the bed, bringing Mac with him.

Soon, all items of clothing were divested and thrown to all parts of the room and they were shrouded in the queen sized blue quilt. Harm's lips soon left Mac's as he begun a detailed investigation of Mac's body; delighting in every curve and crevice he encountered.

For Mac's part, she was more than enjoying this brand new aspect of their relationship. However, she soon discovered that if things didn't progress beyond foreplay very quickly she'd explode.

Tugging on his arm, Mac drew him back up before kissing him soundly.  
"Now," she said breathlessly.  
Harm's eyes darkened as he took in her flushed face and swollen lips; she was the epitome of desire and he couldn't really believe this was actually happening. It was a painful realization to him that he was not prepared for this encounter, protection wise. This halted proceedings.

"What's wrong?" Mac asked, concerned at this pause.  
"No protection," he admitted as his breathing began to slow.  
"And?" she pushed.  
"Well, I just thought… I didn't want to assume…" he began and Mac laughed.  
"I want you, Harmon Rabb…all of you," she added, breaking another of her own rules.  
"Only if you're sure," he said more than relieved at her reply.  
"Absolutely positive," she said, after all she knew they were both clean and they both wanted a baby, even though the odds were incredibly small.

After that, talk ceased in favour of using their mouths in other pursuits. As Harm moved on top of her, Mac took a deep breath and waited for their most intimate connection. When it occurred her eyes rolled and brain spun. This was Harm and he was actually inside her – she was dizzy from the mere sensation.  
"You okay?" Harm asked as he held his weight on his forearms and feet. He had done enough reading over the years to know that Mac's condition often made sex a painful experience and he didn't want her to feel anything but pleasure.  
"More than…" she replied, her hands slipping down to his six.  
"You'd tell me…" he began and she nodded.  
"Right now, everything's perfect," she said with a grin before thrusting up and encouraging him to continue.

Happy with her reply, Harm recommenced his actions. In a dance as old as time, they were soon moving in harmony and it was as if they had been doing this for a life time, and perhaps in some sense they had been.

Mac had climaxed twice before Harm did and as they lay entwined, their sweat slicked bodies fastened together, she sighed dreamily. It had taken so long to get to this point; to feel absolutely content and satisfied with her life. She couldn't imagine what the future would bring. However, as she conceded to herself, all that mattered was that they were together.

"You happy?" Harm asked, caressing her face.  
"Blissfully," she replied with a grin. "You?"  
"Absolutely," he replied, leaning down and kissing her once more.

As her eyes fluttered closed, Harm smiled and thought of the small blue box burning a hole in the pocket of his jeans. He was desperate to place that ring on her finger, to declare to the world that she was his…and he was hers… to start the rest of their lives in a formal and unified way… to spend his days and nights living with her, living for her, loving her.

But, as she drifted off in his arms, he realized that proposal could wait until later. What mattered, at this very moment in time, was that Sarah MacKenzie was blissfully happy, fully content, in love with him and trusted him implicitly and with those wonderful thoughts meandering through his mind, he too fell asleep wrapped in her arms.


End file.
